Building Harlequin’s Moon Page 9

  The secret of her growing relationship with Harry was a weight pulling Rachel from Ursula, and she woke up each night worrying about how to tell her. She had never kept secrets from Ursula.

  The third day Rachel and Harry met outside Aldrin, up at the grove. They clasped hands as soon as they reached the privacy of the First Trees. Rachel leaned into Harry, breathing in his soapy clean smell and feeling his chin against the top of her head, his arms around her waist. They lay down and she snuggled into his arms, watching the dim summer stars through the lacework of young lianas threading through the spreading canopy.

  Harry leaned over and whispered, “I missed you.”

  Rachel brought her fingers up to his cheekbones and ran the back of her hand over the contours of his face. A soft stubble of beard made his chin tickle her fingers. He held completely still, one hand cupping her shoulder, and closed his eyes. They kissed, and then she felt his free hand on her belly, rubbing it in small concentric circles. She arched her back, drew in a fearful excited breath, and took his hand and placed it on her breast. He squeezed it gently, exploring, finding the nipple and then pulling up her shirt and taking it in his mouth. She breathed faster and moved closer, matching him skin to skin in as many places as she could. Her hand ran up his spine. She trembled.

  Hands and fingers and tongues made tentative explorations. Rachel was unsure about the next step, not pushing, not resisting. The sounds of leaves against branches and the dusky shadows of night were all crystal clear, and she felt a little as if she—no, they—floated above themselves in some place of desire and pleasure she had never known before. She dropped her hand along his inner thigh, and ran it up the curve of his hips.

  A dry branch snapped close to them, and she heard a sharp intake of breath and a small cry.

  Ursula.

  Rachel stiffened and called out. “Ursula?”

  The only reply was the sound of footsteps running away.

  Rachel pushed herself up on her elbows. “I’m sure it was Ursula. She’ll be angry. I have to go find her.”

  “Stay,” he whispered, and Rachel sank back, her mind visualizing Ursula’s face, the expression of disgust that she heard but didn’t see.

  “I . . . I never told her about us. She won’t understand. I didn’t know how to tell her. She . . . she . . .”

  “. . . doesn’t like me.” He finished her sentence. “I know. I don’t mean . . . I guess I like her okay, but she needs so much help. Not like you—it’s all easy for you. You and me, we love the work. We care about Selene. I think Ursula cares about what you think more than about anything else.” His hand covered her navel, moving softly against her stomach.

  “She’s . . . just less secure.” Rachel tried to breathe back into being with him. “You don’t understand her.”

  “She slows you down.”

  “But she’s my friend. I . . . I have to go to her. I’ll meet you again tomorrow.”

  He looked startled, then sad. “Don’t go,” he said. When she didn’t answer, he said, “I understand. Tomorrow, right”

  She reached up and kissed him, taking a few moments, touching tongues. “I have to go.” She pushed away and stood up, walking unsteadily, the softness of a few moments before turned to confusion.

  She flew back alone, the cool night air chilling her. Ursula refused Rachel’s calls that night, and Rachel wanted Harry’s touch, but couldn’t bring herself to go find him after leaving so abruptly.

  Rachel woke the next morning to Ursula sitting cross-legged outside her window. She slipped outside into the cool air, careful not to make any noise that would wake her father, and started toward the edge of town. Ursula followed silently, looking angry and exhausted. Rachel wondered if she had slept.

  Rachel walked as long as she could stand the silence, until they stood at the edge of the tent city next to a row of palms. What was she supposed to say? “Ursula. I knew you wouldn’t like it.”

  “How did that happen? He’s a geek. He’s just like Andrew.”

  “He’s not like Andrew. Not anymore. I don’t think he ever was.”

  “And why not tell me? How could you hide—”

  “I’m sorry.” Rachel stopped and looked Ursula in the eyes. She would not mumble a false apology, like Andrew. “I was wrong.”

  “So you won’t see him anymore? You’ll stop this?”

  “I was wrong not to tell you.”

  “Are you going to stop?”

  “I care about him.”

  “But—”

  “I know he hangs out with Andrew. But he’s not like him. There’s a lot we talk about—he sees things like I do.”

  “And I don’t?” Ursula’s voice was still tight, protesting.

  Rachel sat down and put her hands over her face. “Ursula, it’s different with Harry. My belly goes soft when I’m with him.”

  “Yuck.” Ursula stood above Rachel, looking down at her.

  “I mean . . . I mean . . .”

  “You kept a secret. From me. And all the while I’m stuck here, miles away from you, and you’re playing . . . with him . . . and not calling me, and I—”

  “I said I’m sorry.” It was hard to be patient. “I knew you wouldn’t like it. How could I explain?”

  “You’ve been here for three days.”

  “I know. But you wanted to talk about other things.”

  “I’ve just . . . Rachel, I’ve been so lonely here.”

  “Ursula, you’re my best friend. I didn’t set out to hurt your feelings. But I like it . . . I like him. It doesn’t mean I don’t care about you. I mean, who’d I spend two days with nonstop when I got here? Look, don’t argue. Let’s go work in the grove and have a good day together.”

  “I don’t . . . no . . .” Ursula turned her back, but Rachel could still hear her. “I—give me a day.”

  “We’re supposed to leave tomorrow night.”

  “So we’ll meet for breakfast tomorrow.”

  “Okay,” Rachel said softly, walking away, upset enough that it felt better to hike to the grove instead of flying. She carried her wings, working up a light sheen of sweat. It didn’t help her feel better.

  Rachel went to the field by the First Trees and sat cross-legged behind the dais that Gabriel and Ali sometimes taught from, looking toward the trees. What had she done?

  Grass poked at her calves. This field was the only place Council encouraged grass to grow. There were butterflies and bees here, genetically regulated to control reproduction. Other strains would replace these as Council introduced a balance of predators, primarily birds and insects. Rachel tried to picture the world fuller, with more variety, more balance, like the balance that supported the water systems. It was hard to imagine so much chaos. A bright blue butterfly with yellow eyes on its wings landed in front of her, stayed for two heartbeats, and flew up and over the dais, away.

  Rachel stood to watch it go, and noticed Gabriel standing silently in the middle of the field behind her. He wore loose blue pants tied at the ankles and no shirt. His arms were raised above his head, hands clasped high, palms close in together. His eyes were closed. He swayed, first to the right, then the left, each time reaching far out with his arms, stretching his sides so that he bent almost into a sideways “U” on each side. The tip of his long braid dragged on the grass. Then he stood tall again, reaching almost for the sky, and she could see his ribs pull up and his hips thrust forward before he dropped his head and bent back so his arms pointed behind him and he could look at the ground.

  Gabriel opened his eyes. Rachel was sure that he saw her, but he chose to ignore her as he bent forward, pulling his head into his knees. His movements were slow and controlled. He stayed that way for six long breaths, and then came up, hands reaching for the sky again before he dropped them to his sides. He walked over silently, and climbed up onto the dais, sitting close to her.

  “What was that?” she asked.

  “Half Moon Pose.”

  “Huh?”

 
“It stretches your spine,” he said.

  “I bet it does. Can I try it someday?”

  “Someday.” He laughed. “You may need to know it by the time you’re running planting teams. Being the boss gets crazy. Yoga helps some. When I concentrate completely on my body, my problems seem further away. There are days I need yoga just to stay down here, away from the ship, to stay focused. Besides, going back and forth between here and the ship is hard on the body—and yoga is the best way we’ve found to balance gravitational shifts, to keep strength up.”

  It was curious to hear Gabriel talk about himself so personally. “Is it that hard to be around us?”

  “That’s not what I meant. It’s hard to be here. After all these years, I miss Earth and even though I’ve never seen Ymir, I miss that too. I miss the Ymir we would have made. I know they made it.” He looked up into the First Trees. “And we failed—we got stuck here. You can’t know what a shadow this is of both worlds.” He shrugged. “Yoga helps. Making progress here helps too, I guess.” He smiled at her. “But these are my problems.”

  “Gabriel,” she hazarded, “what do you want from us?”

  “Help. There’s much to do here. There’s more than Council can oversee, and I want you to lead the younger children in making Selene good enough for a lot of people to live here while we build the antimatter collector. I’ve told you that much already.”

  “I want to help.”

  “You’re doing what you should do. You’re learning.” Gabriel climbed down off the dais. “You see the interrelationships we’re building more than most people do. It might be time to get more of the background you need to really understand the job here. Want to walk for a bit and talk about the next steps?”

  Was he finally going to tell her more about his plans? She followed him across the field. Already she was as tall as he was. Instead of going into the First Trees they walked along the edge, where they could see large expanses of new plantings. Rachel was quiet, waiting for Gabriel to speak. When he didn’t, she said, “You’re always testing us.”

  “We have to. It’s a big job we’re trying to prepare you for.”

  “And are we passing?”

  “You are. And Harry. Nick and Alexandra and Gloria too.”

  “Ursula?” She almost had to jog to keep up with Gabriel, though he looked as if he were making no effort at all.

  “Maybe. She seems less willing to do things on her own than you are.”

  “Ursula and I had a fight today,” she offered, struggling to match his level of revelation. “That’s what made it such a hard day.”

  “Over Harry?”

  How did he know that? “Because I’m friends with Harry.”

  “I know.”

  Did Council know everything? She looked away, afraid to meet Gabriel’s eyes. “How do you know about me and Harry?”

  He laughed. “Well, it’s not a secret to anybody who has seen you two together. And in a few years you’ll be old enough to contract. It’s a logical pairing.”

  “But—Harry and I don’t usually even hold hands around people.”

  “We have observation satellites and cameras and pods and other ways to collect data and information. We have to monitor what happens down here. Surely you understand how much information we need to monitor all this?” He spread his arms wide, and then pointed at her. “You yourself gather information from your trees.”

  Rachel blushed. Of course she knew about the cams. What had they seen? Was it really private even under the canopy of trees in the grove? Could they hear conversation as well as see people? Did he know about her helping Ursula so much while they were gone the last time? What must the ship be like if they could see so much? Did they spy on each other this way?

  “Gabriel? Will I ever see John Glenn?”

  Gabriel was quiet for a long time, not answering. He walked a distance away, gesturing at Rachel to stay put. While he was gone, Selene shivered in a series of sharp little quakes. She put her hand down and felt them, imagining Selene was shaking its shoulders.

  When Gabriel returned, he knelt down and looked into her eyes. “How about tomorrow? It seems some people aboard John Glenn would like to meet you.”

  “What?” She couldn’t have heard right.

  “Did I stutter?” Gabriel laughed.

  “By myself?”

  “I’ll go with you. We decided to leave Gloria home with her family for a bit, so if you and I go, it will be one full planting crew less here. Ali can run one crew. There’s less to do in the winter anyway.”

  “Really? Me on the John Glenn?” She and Harry talked about the ship endlessly, wondering what it looked like, how the Council lived there, how many of them there were.

  “I have to go anyway. We’ll stay there at least until spring.”

  “Can Harry go?”

  “No. One of you will be enough of a shock for Council.”

  “But my dad—”

  “Will be okay with it.” Gabriel turned and looked directly at her. “It’s time for you to meet the High Council, and more important, for High Council to meet you. You’re going to show them how smart the Children of Selene are. Can you do that?”

  Rachel nodded, overwhelmed.

  “Be ready just after dawn.”

  “I’m supposed to talk to Ursula in the morning.”

  “Talk to her before you go, or she’ll have to wait.”

  Rachel frowned. She’d promised. “What do I need to bring?”

  “A change of clothes.” Gabriel said, “I’ll tell your dad.”

  He loped away from her across the field, running easily.

  Harry was standing almost exactly where she had gone to sit earlier, by the dais in the center of the field, a huge smile of welcome brightening his face when he saw her. “I was hoping I’d find you up here.”

  Rachel slipped her hand into Harry’s, feeling it tremble. “He’s taking me to John Glenn.”

  “Wow. Just you? Is anybody else going?”

  “I asked if he’d take you. He said just me.” How could she make him feel better? “He also said you and I are both doing well. It was weird—he’s never talked so much before. I’ll be there for months, maybe, and I don’t have to take anything. I mean, what must it be like? What will the other Council be like? What will they think of me?”

  “Shhhhh,” Harry whispered. “Slow down. You’ll be fine. You just found out?”

  “Well, of course, I just found out. I’d have told you. I guess they’re taking Ursula out for the planting.”

  “It won’t be nearly as much fun without you.” Harry leaned over and kissed her forehead. “Shall we?”

  “Finish what we started yesterday?” Rachel’s cheeks got hot and her belly fluttered.

  “Yes.” He leaned over and kissed her, holding her very tight to him, his hand roaming over her back and up her shoulders. He let go and took her hand, turning toward the same place in the First Trees where they’d been interrupted the day before.

  EVENING LIGHT THREW shadows on the path as they flew home. They landed just above Aldrin, watching lights come on one by one in the tents. As soon as their wings were folded and packed, Rachel threw herself against his chest, cheek against his shoulder bone, arms tight around his torso. “I’ll miss you so much,” she said.

  “I’ll miss you more than I can say. Especially now.” He held her tightly to him, wrapping his arms around her waist. “But think of what we’ll learn. There’s so much they never tell us. No Moon Born has been to John Glenn and come back. You’ll have to send me messages.”

  “I’ll try. I think Gabriel and Ali get messages from the ship.”

  “Whatever happens, record everything you see, everything they say. There have to be more Council up there than we’ve seen. How many have we met? Ten, maybe, in our whole lives? What does being ‘cold’ really mean? Why are Colonists different from Council? Aren’t they all Earth Born? Are Gabriel and Ali really as old as they say they are? How long will we live?”


  Her hand went over his mouth. “I promise to write it all down,” she said, laughing. “I know, I’m just as curious.” She bit her lip. “I wish we could both go together. Hey, will you try and be nice to Ursula?”

  “I can be polite. Will you try and find out what will happen to Andrew?”

  “Why do you still care about him? He hates everyone—he hates me particularly.”

  “Do you remember what I told you last winter? He loves you.”

  Rachel snorted.

  “He doesn’t see the consequences of his choices very clearly. That’s why he’s willing to make Council mad. But he’s smart, and believe it or not, he’s not all bad. He just wants to be the best, and he gets angry when he thinks he isn’t.” Harry picked up a stone and tossed it away, and another one. “I try to help him, but sometimes he doesn’t make room for anyone. But that’s not why it’s important, Rachel. What’s important is that Council can control us so completely.” He looked hard at her.

  Of course. “I’ll see what I can find out.”

  “Good. How will your dad take it?”

  “I feel bad about leaving him. He’ll be alone. I need to go talk to him.”

  “I know.” Harry held her tighter, pinning her legs and arms. “But I want a few more minutes.”

  She should go home, but the glow she felt, the smell and feel of Harry’s body close to her, were so seductive she put it off for almost an hour. Just sitting with Harry and touching, hardly talking at all. It could never, ever be enough.

  Harry walked her all the way home, kissing her at the door. She started to protest. “My dad will see.”

  “He likes me all right. I’ll visit him while you’re gone.”

  She stopped before they got to her door, leaning into Harry, clutching him close to her, smelling him. “I still wish you could go. I’ll be lonely up there.” John Glenn was so far away. “I don’t want to be separated from you. I love you.”